Wednesday, December 12, 2012

See about me

I've been crying
'Cause I'm lonely (for you)
Smiles have all turned to tears
But tears won't wash away the fears
That you're never ever gonna return
To ease the fire that within me burns

It keeps me crying baby for you
Keeps me sighin' baby for you
So won't you hurry ?
Come on, see about me
(Come see about me)
See about you baby

Sometime's up
Sometime's down
My life's so uncertain
With you not around
From my arms you maybe out of reach
But my heart says you're here to keep

Schedules. Running. Out. Of. Time.

Getting closer to January is a toughie. Everything is so messed up! Things to do..piling up day by day. Meetings. Discussions. Events. Whyyyyyyyyyyyy?

Keeps me busy til I can't contact anybody. No time to even go to the bank and take out muneh. No time to even sit back and enjoy the clouds once in awhile. I desperately need to keep in contact with my loved ones.

My dearest lovies, I apologize for not being able to be there for you guys but hang on okay? Don't mean to do it but life is pushing my buttons. Support me and hope this crazed schedule will end. I'll keep in touch soon enough. Promise. ^^ Love youuu gaiissss.
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Sunday, December 2, 2012

Red black hoods

Running at a slow pace, somehow the world seems quiet..

It's just me..heading towards the sunrise. Already at the top of the hill. Suddenly, noises came back. A bunch of excited squealish girls, all dressed in red and black. Music playing from hand phones, picture taking at every corner.

I guess I was never alone. :)




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Why do I feel suck-ier than before?

It's just not a way to start December. Heading to Pusat Islam for Subuh. Maybe that'll open my heart to see things clearly.

*bangs head to pillow*


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Thursday, November 29, 2012

Baby brotha

*When lil bro says "I love you"*

Stopped typing for awhile and stares at message til it becomes blurry. He said "I love you" and not even in the sarcastic-ee way or when he wants something from me. Not the first time he said it but once he does, I'm still taken aback by it.

Instantly going back into time, reminiscing on how we used to torture each other, fighting over everything, creating a ruckus til my poor parents got headaches. I never confided with him about anything before but now, everytime I'm back home; he is the only guy I go to for advice.

Now that I think about it, no matter how much we fought back then..I still love him no matter how much he gets on my nerves sometimes (all the time). He's my guy best friend. :)

*Slowly but surely, gained sane-ness back and typed "I love you too. Sweet dreams Del"*


We never really liked taking proper pictures that much anyways. :/

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Tuesday, November 27, 2012

#love

Love knows no boundaries. It could represent honey plus also a thousand bee stings. Love is universal. It can be forgiving yet relentless. I know love ever since I was brought into the world. My mother loved me even before I was born and my father loved me more than anyone else could. Those were the first people who taught me about love.
I never wondered much about love. I knew I’d feel it when I’m among family, friends, teachers,pets, unicorns, etc. Being with someone; aaaahh…that sort of love I have yet to feel but I would not want to worry about that. Being with someone does not mean you are supposed to love that person until you forget the world. Until you forget Allah S.W.T. Having to be with someone who loves you for who you are and is always a close reminder to you when it comes to the Almighty; now that is someone to have and to hold until eternity. Someone who would not make you cry over petty reasons. Would not force you to be anything that you are not. Someone who is halal for you. J Kak Te’ah once told me that if for instance I am in a relationship and it did not work out, never cry for that person because I will be questioned sooner or later. “Do not cry for a person, cry for Allah. You can cry for family, for friends but never for those who are not Muhrim.”
I will definitely take that into heart. I know along this journey of life, I will make countless mistakes. I am human after all. As long as I do not dwell on those mistakes and continue to find the right answers to them, I will end up fine.
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Friday, November 23, 2012

Wishing for peace

Life is a whirlwind, isn't it? When you think you got it in the bag, life goes ahead and wallops you right in the chin. Although it may hurt but the experience is there. Nonetheless, it creates memories.

Lately a lot has been going on around the world. Some great. Some gruesomely horrible. Of course the recent worry is about our brothers and sisters in Gaza, holding on to every bit of life. The broadcasts, the pictures, the videos shown are just heart breaking. Truly truly heart breaking. When I thought people who overtake while driving are bad, I am presented with worse. I cannot digest the thought of people of the same species harming one of their own. It just does not seem right.

Every time I pray, I wish and want so badly that there shall be no more war instead present them with peace. All these things happen for a reason. It is a lesson for every one of us to tolerate one another, embrace each other's differences as to make the world a better place and perhaps keep it for a while longer. Allah would not hand us problems without having solutions.

Hang in there. I am sure that eventually things would get a whole lot better but nonetheless..I will keep on praying. When you feel that you've got no one, you will always have THE ONE in your heart.

Stop sighing and be thankful. A constant reminder for myself. :)
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Wednesday, November 7, 2012

It hurts me to see that this is what it has become.

I wish that I...*inhale exhale*
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Friday, October 19, 2012

Basic reminder


As we grow up, we learn that even the one person that wasn't supposed to ever let us down, probably will. You'll have your heart broken and you'll break others' hearts. You'll fight with your best friend or maybe even fall in love with them, and you'll cry because time is flying by. So take too many pictures, laugh too much, forgive freely, and love like you've never been hurt. Life comes with no guarantees, no time outs, no second chances. you just have to live life to the fullest, tell someone what they mean to you and tell someone off, speak out, dance in the pouring rain, hold someone's hand, comfort a friend, fall asleep watching the sun come up, stay up late, be a flirt, and smile until your face hurts. Don't be afraid to take chances or fall in love and most of all, live in the moment because every second you spend angry or upset is a second of happiness you can never get back.

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Sunday, September 30, 2012

Tunes

It's hard to separate my mp4 device. I live for music and music lives within me. I like the fact that how songs can picture memories from my past without even trying. The fact that it sculpted my whole life without showing any effort. Listening to different genres can be refreshing. The clubby-sounding songs makes you wanna bang your head in unison to the beat without a care in the world who's watching. The one that talks about heart break makes you wanna grab a bucket of ice-cream, nodding to every lyric while thinking of what could've been. The ones that talk about friendship makes you wanna run down the hall, bursting into your friend's room and thanking her for existing. The ones that talk about family makes you wanna call your loved ones every second so that you don't let new memories go by.The ones that are filled with perverted language makes you wanna pull A REAL absurd face thinking why is this live on radio. xD

That's just it. Music makes you think. Music makes you look back. A sudden trigger within your heart and brain because you found things that relate to you through melody. Happy songs aren't just happy because of the beat. It is just a reminder to you that you managed to wake up the next morning, feeling alive. Sad songs aren't just emotional because of the slow rendition. It's because you thought about people and things when you were listening to it.

If I were to be deaf to the whole world and forever having tunes in my head, I think it'll be a very colorful world. :)
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Friday, September 21, 2012

Empty spaces that seems cramped

3rd semester has certainly started to catch up on me. Work load increasing, people are multiplying, etc..

I feel like my whole life is so cramped lately! Everyday is the same thing. Schedules are never ending. Meeting with the same faces who are probably trying to survive the semester with me. So packed. So packed. Yet, I have this emptiness feeling inside. Which is normal..humans are never satisfied with what they have.

Of course I would want everything and everyone around me when I'm doing my degree. Things seem a lot easier that way and I wouldn't have to miss people. WASTING all my tears because of the distance. Although it has been a year but yes, I still have the missing 'bug'. Why oh why won't you grow up Dae???

Growing up has nothing to do with missing at all~ but that's another point. Degree is usually where people start to learn to be independent and 'hardworking' and a whole lot better at rearranging their lives. Alas, I have come to a point that I'd probably reach that level of serious-ness when I'm working. Which will take ages!!

It's time for me to focus on what's important. But I just can't do that when my heart is telling me to think of other things. The focus is just not there. Why oh why? Brain and heart, please work together. All I'm getting is confusion. =.=
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Tuesday, September 18, 2012

You came but I still miss


This real loud budak came to UiTM out of the blue.HURRAH!

The date was 15th September 2012 and she went back the next day. Although it felt short but still very grateful that she managed to get down here all on her own. Which probably got her into trouble also! Next time bawak Kelo!

I'm sorry I didn't get to spend enough time with you or shown you more stuff or brought you elsewhere or at least got you your own bed to sleep on..I was in a daze. Still confused the moment you got here. Org JB nak mai Shah Alam jauh oh..but thank you. You have certainly made my YEAR. Now I can probably go for a year or two without meeting you. ECEH ayat. No worries..I'll try my best to go to JB someday.

Like I said, my apologies for the imperfections during the trip. Didn't know how to be a good hostess. But you were a great guest and thank goodness ramai lah jugak know you here. At least I didn't feel like I was leaving you alone always. You take care over there, okay? I know you're strong..you may have your moments of weakness but every normal human being has that. I am sure you would know what to do. You've got that sort of aura within you. People follow your every move as you have that leadership punya aura; which many are dying to have. So use it well.

No matter how far I am from you, I'm still around. If you need me, you've got my cellphone number. Take care of that heart of yours. <3

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Monday, August 27, 2012

Stop this rain

They say that home is where the heart is. Home is family but my heart is never at my home.

It is all the way up, over the sea and beneath the stars.

My heart is where you are at.

Wherever you are. :p

Everibadi, puhlease drink lots of water because the weather is so hard to predict and people might get sick; which is horrifying!! Also to shower often because once you hit the rain, WHAM! you fall sick. Cold showers help apparently, all thanks to the advice given by kak teah..although i didn't enjoy the cold water hitting my scalp. toodalooo
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Beanie Baby

Today I accompanied my brother to the toy store to get his gf something. I'm like

"Awww~ why aren't you this sweet to me, beach??" But I put all my efforts in to help him. We got her a TIGGER. bouncing tigger. so kyuuute. 

Anywhos, I have grown accustomed to stuff toys because I'm a girl. If I can't find a present, a stuff toy would be the alternative. Who could resist hugging those lil squishy furry soft stuff? This might be a lil silly but..I keep every stuff toys my friends gave me. Can't leave without them. Except for Barbies. Got rid of them a long time ago. Creepy buggers. *Shudders*

I did the same thing with mum. I know, why give a mother a stuff toy? She's no teen. But I ran out of ideas! So i got her what represented me. A penguin pillow; for her to lean on when she's tired in the office. I had a feeling she wouldn't use it but it's the thought that counts. So long I left the feeling of whether it'll be meaningful to her.

Then that day come. I was folding clothes, minding my own bizwax when she was talking to dad..

"My students love my Beanie. Brought it to class today."

I didn't bother at first because THAT penguin is not a Beanie. A beanie is a collection of small stuffed bears. It hit me.

"Who gave you a Beanie, mum?" 

"Why you did!!"

Then I grinned. She does love it. Not the fact that it is just too adorable but it came from her daughter.
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Tuesday, June 26, 2012

Provide me with time

This is study week.

Yet we spend this extra time to do our nails and play with our hair. We so semat like that. But I like it this way. Spending time with my favourite girls, listening to music that I'm not familiar with but regardless it is still melodious.

Wherever I'm at, I hope..that..they'll forever be by my side. Although some may leave, although some may have different interests but I pray that despite those changes, we'll still be the same. Loud and 'blue'. =.=

It is hard not to be emotionally attached. I say it to myself from time to time, "Dae, don't get too attached. There is no guarantee that they'll remain the same." Alas, I'm still smitten. I always get emotionally attached and that sucks. Then that day will come when people would have to say goodbye, heartache happens.

Left standing, watching them heading towards another direction. Knowing that it won't be the same anymore. No more greeting them in the corridor. No more playing the fool. No more making goofy mistakes then laugh about it. Creating the same memories with others is near to impossible.

Anyways, at least we had those moments and those moments I shall keep close to my heart. Locked in there so whenever I feel lonely, I'll just look back at the moments and think "Good times well spent."

Every single person that I have met with holds a piece of my heart. Even though I'm happy that they'll forever have a part of me with them but it still hurts when they leave. Like Voldemort and his Hocruxes. xD Once harmed, he losses a part of himself and slowly he dies. Gosh, I do not wanna be like that.

It is probably too fast to say but I love my gals. Whole-heartedly. Love is a big word and so is the meaning. But I guess I just do. I love them. :)
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Monday, June 18, 2012

3 b'days done simultaneously


Happy Birthday to Kak Te'ah, P-yie and Rin~~

We laughed a lot. We ran a lot. And we got dirty. Everybody just had to grab a handful of flour huh??

Thank you for being great friends. I am thankful for your presence. Live well and I hope that all three of you will gain success, happiness and love in the future. Please continue to stay by my side in this degree journey because once in awhile I need the support and I will always be there for you guys too. Never give up in life as at times there will be sad agendas but that is no reason to fall. I'll be there to pick you up when you're down.

Most importantly, be who you want to be.


*We were so convinced that only the b'day gal and guys would get dirty. How wrong were we?*

Very. xD


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Friday, June 8, 2012

New

When something takes over you, it can be a refreshing thing.



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Wednesday, May 30, 2012

The strong one

Men and women have always been compared in many ways especially physicality. It's always stated that men are stronger than women. Men can carry heavier things, have harder exterior than women. In many ways, that can be true but people need to realize that behind every man, there is a woman. The one who exudes emotions, the one who care, the one who brings love.

To me, women are way stronger.

A little girl, walks around in pig tails with a big smile on her face; eager to learn something new. A little boy comes over and takes her juice box and pulls her hair. Yes, she will cry because she got her feelings hurt but will always recover.

A teenager, has a crush on a boy in her class. She builds up the courage to express how she feels and got let down. Yes, she will cry because she got rejected but she will get back up again and find someone who truly loves her.

A woman, in love with someone she thought the world of. Abused once behind closed curtains. Yes, she will cry because the one she loves is aggressive but she will leave him and kick him in the nuts; knowing that those who love would not hurt.

A mother, asked her children to do a chore for her. She got let down with cursive words. Yes, she will cry because she would not expect her own flesh and blood to say that but she will still forgive as deep in her heart she knows they did not mean it.

I come across strong women everyday. I praise them for the ability to hold everything together and still be able to support men and those around them. Yes, female tend to cry more but those tears are not signs of weaknesses. It symbolizes strength. One that men actually lack of.

So I am proud to say than I am an XX and I would not want it any other way.




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Wednesday, May 16, 2012

Love of a Slipper

To think that I'm already blessed enough to have such a wonderful family, I get a jolt in my head saying, "I have great friends too!!"


This is my Kak Atie. Orang tua kompeni F.

Ever since I got into this 'komando' stuff, I met new people. All very kind and all very hands on. Always ready to lend a helping hand. So far aside from my partners in crime, Kak Atie has been the steady rock for all of us. The stubborn-ness of her personality is a nice balance with her extremely CARING side.

She's a busy lady. Hard to get a hold of her yet she makes time to ask whether or not we're okay..Are we eating enough, getting enough sleep, whether or not we need help with homework or if there's any complications with this new experience we're going through.

Always full of surprises too!! Never a day am I not taken aback by what she does and what she likes to do. She doesn't seem like the type who likes to read thriller novels yet she does. She doesn't seem like the type to have lots of stuff toys but she does. She doesn't seem like the type to make corny jokes or play around and yet there she is, fooling around. Such an odd creature. But that is what makes her lovable. ^^

Just tonight, I had in front of my door; a pair of chomel slippers for me to wear to toilet. The story is that I've been walking barefoot for more than a week because my slippers have worn out. I hadn't had the time to get a new one so I walk barefoot. She told me off so many times already so SMACK! She got me a slipper. AWWWW~


Thanks a bunch Akak. I have no words to express my gratitude but I guess this is how I express my feelings. I want to share to the whole world that you mean a lot to me. WOOH!


Bah2. I'm blabbering already. Lots of love, Dae.



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Monday, April 9, 2012

Balls of endless confusion

I am not agitated neither am I upset but I am simply..confused.

There have been lots of events that happens on a daily basis but it is still manageable yet once in awhile unexpected events follow up so my mind is all boggled. People confuse me. They confuse me a lot. Even I too, am confused by myself at times where I don't get what is happening around me and why are things happening the way it is ...? see? confusion once more.

All I know is that people are just made imperfect and I should not make an effort in trying to understanding how they are because it will just make everything more weird and confusing. It is like you think you know the person then suddenly they turn into vampires at night and suck your blood!

That was just an example but you get what I mean? How would you feel if your good friend turned out to be a vampire and is only friends with you to gain blood? It hurts. Literally. That bite mark will never come off and I'll turn into a vampire as well. So long normal life. It's all about living in the dark,turning into a bat by night and sparkle whenever I'm in the sun.

I'm going off topic. ADD perhaps! All that I can say is that Confusing People, I love you guys but please don't expect me to understand you all the time because..I don't. As John Lennon says, "Let it be~~ Let it be! Let it be~~ Let it be~~" 
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Wednesday, April 4, 2012

Sudden findings

MIA for quite sometime already..I have been busy but not that busy until I can't update my blog. It's just that..I..have no idea what to write. What would I say? "The toothpaste today is extra minty!" "I bought Teh O Ais/ Tea O Ice and it was real bitter." I can't put THAT in the blog because I am sure everybody could do the same. Ahah! Numerous times I logged in and I stop in my tracks at the New Post Section.

Well, I do have one topic to talk about. Have you ever encountered this one situation where a real good friend of yours has this habit of being upset over the fact that she/he can't be friends with you alone and hates that other people are friends with you? I just found out how that feels like and I must say I don't like it one bit. Other people get hurt, He/She is hurt and I am hurting as well.

First you're all nice and sweet with you but once I meet with other people, everything just changes. You're avoiding not only me but other friends and not a single glance from you. You know how much pain you're inflicting on us? It isn't fair for you to inflict your displeasure on us. Not fair at all. We have always wanted the best for you, grateful to have someone like you in our lives until you've shown how you really are. 

We're saying, "Oh. Maybe she/he has problems..that's why." Countless times we try to reassure ourselves but still you continue on this habit. Fine. Be that way. But know that if you ever wish to get back to where we were, it is still possible.

Friendship is like that. No grudges. No hate. Just acceptance.
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Sunday, March 25, 2012

To have and to hold

Lately I have grown accustomed to wishing my kompeni goodnight before going to bed. Salam and a peck on the cheek seems like a legit thing to do among your mates and seniors. =.=

truth is I just miss doing that to my parents.

Mangsa-mangsa saya adalah kompeni Masscomm. I feel shy pouring my looooveeee to other faculties so the only faculty to wash my kerinduan and lovey dovey ness is masscomm. Kesian efah,fatin,kak te'ah,kak mimi, kak anis, kak atie and dira. xD
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Wednesday, February 29, 2012

EVOL

Love has always been seen as the most beautiful thing ever to humans. That can be a true fact but why something so beautiful can bring so much hurt to people? It can represent honey and poison at the same time. You indulge yourself in the sweetness of it all but then it gives you cramps and sudden epilepsy! Death. Okay..death will not be a part of it.

It is nice to have feelings for people. Friends, family..it's normal to have Love for them. We love and we love yet at times Love just takes you by the gut and twist them. You get all sad and teary eyed and your heart feels like breaking yet you know the cause of it is very minimal. Still you're hurting. But there will always comes a time where one tiny detail brings you back to loving once more. Isn't it odd, the human heart?

I get that way all the time. Like for instance with my family. I love them so much but at times I feel like yelling at their faces. Yet I never do because deep down I know that it is only in the moment and what I am about to say to them may hurt them more than how much I am hurting. So I clench my fist; cursing as much as I could in my mind. Then I'm back to loving them more than before. I don't get it!

Love can be so complicated. I wish that Love could be simpler; filled with only happiness and that butterfly feeling you get in your stomach. That's not true though. It is those two things but it is also accompanied by jealousy,hatred and sadness.

Nobody is made to understand Love completely anyways. :)
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Monday, February 27, 2012

Blanket in hoodie form

I change my cravings from time to time but I NEVA changed my mindset about pullover hoodies. It's like being in a soft nest, nuzzling with the other birds. << That did not just make sense. Every single time I look around in a shopping mall, I'll go bonkers for pullover hoodies but I never could afford them cuz they are darn pricey!! I guess it's because of its thickness and colors. Way to turn a girl down. =.=


Paul Frank's are quite cool with the monkey as a mascot. 

Or any hoodies with the color bluueeeeee just makes everything a wee bit AWESOMER. 


Or a PENGUIN. << le image of Dae.

I've always find them comfortable plus they cover your behind. and keep you safe from the rain or real hot weather. Makes you sweat too which is ESSENTIAL when exercising. 



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Sunday, February 26, 2012

pretty watches


can i puhleassssseeee get one in red or yellow? this would look totally cool if i had 4 more people wearing the different colours. POWER RANGERS HAIYAKK!! imma start collecting muneh now.
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Tuesday, February 21, 2012

Starry night plus a satellite

I've had a lot of free time on my hands so I've been trying to figure out what to do when I'm back home. Just lil stuff like bringing my brother out, taking Mum to the bookstore to buy books or go cycling with Dad. Just lil things to occupy my time here before I return back to UiTM.

Just last night, it was after dinner and it was my turn to take the trash out. I was never a fan of taking the trash out but bro's gotta take a break from throwing away the cat poop and trash so I thought it'd be best if I did it once in awhile. I locked the gate and I just stood right in the middle of my driveway and looked up. The sky had diamonds~ twinkling stars that made everything better. I just..couldn't stop staring at them so I laid down on the driveway by myself looking at the stars, accompanied by a soft breeze. And all I could think of was that..

It'll be even more of a moment if I had someone to share it with. :')


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Monday, February 20, 2012

Chocmint

I'm always logged into this blogger ma-jiggy but it is hard thinking of what to write here eventhough not many knows about this writing stuff.

It kills me not to write about something!

So imma write about a beverage.


I got this photo from cutebun.blogspot.com as it says there on the photo. Was afraid bout copyright stuff so that is what I'm spose to say, right? ANYWHOS!

I get this drink every time my family and I went to Bing's. The ambience is always so home-y and I cannot NOT get this drink. First it is that whipped cream on top. Usually people just mix the cream with the drink but! I don't roll the way people roll. I prefer to scoop the whipped cream first; abolish it before I drink it. The hint of mint with the cream really is calming and cool. As if it's just a fair warning of what's to come. THEN, you go for the chocolate-y goodness. The chocolate can be overpowering to some but that's the thing. Chocolate is spose to be powerful! And the mint just adds the flavor. I can just sit in that coffee shop with this drink and a book, imma happy gal. 

The best part is always at the bottom of the glass where there is extra chocolate and mint. KAPOWW! in your mouth. OHOH! Heaven..I always do get the chills after I drink it. Literally though cuz that thing is COLD.

I just <3 chocolate and mint too much. Can't be helped. :) 
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Wednesday, February 15, 2012

Odd findings

I've just noticed peculiar things about myself which I haven't really thought about it..

Until I had nothing to do. Holidays. Brings up the worst in you.

ANYWHOS!! It has come to my perspective that I do peculiar actions at times. I'm sure some can relate to these situations. The FIRST - I can never enter a dark room until the light is switched on. I will actually wait for the lights to turn on before I chill on my bed or take a whizz in the toilet. SECOND - Everytime I finish eating a candy bar or ice-cream or whatever that requires plastic wrappers, I'll stuff the trash right into my pockets, even when I am at home and the trash bin is right beside me. THIRD - If I am washing my face with soap and I am facing a mirror, I would always ALWAYS squint to look if there's anything around me. Which will end with painful eyes that have soap in it. FOURTH - I have the memory of a duck. If I am talking and there is this sudden noise or distraction, I'll completely lose sight of what I was saying before. FIFTH - I would sniff my pillow before sleeping, just to make sure it's mine. SIXTH - I have loads of books but I always read the same one over and over again (Archie comic book #16). << That's not even a book! SEVENTH - I probably log into FB like a gazillion times a day, especially during the holidays. EIGHTH - I like eating apples and drinking chocolate milk at the same time. 

Not really odd but I'm pretty sure this is about as weird as I can get when I got nuthin to do at home. bleggghhh..depressing. I'm gonna go and jog.

OH! NINTH - I always say imma jog the next day but every time I say that, I'll wake up later than usual. 11p.m to be exact.


Bro is as messed up as me. SIBLINGS FO LIFE!

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Tuesday, February 14, 2012

I've forgotten what I've started fighting for.

:/


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Monday, February 13, 2012

Questionable Post

It's one day after the other and I must say, things have already started to change by a lil bit. I guess the year '20' makes you see things around you a bit more clearly. There are things that I do see coming and things that hit me right in the face. Absolute shocker!! Life is like that, isn't it? Always surprising you with the bits and pieces. It is truly exciting yet at the same time you take a step back trying to figure out what is actually happening. I LOVE IT!

Lately I have seen people come and go from my life. Some have moved on, living an awesome life. I too, am ecstatic for them and some have made a mark in my life; never failing to put a stupid grin on my face. It hurts to smile when they just randomly ask you weird stuff. All in all, I wish them a great deal of happiness and hope that they got it made already in the real world. I on the other hand, have GOT to deal with my own emotions and not to take things too seriously. When people go, you let go. When people come, you embrace them. Saves me a load of heartache. :D

This is going nowhere. Where am I heading to in this blog post? I think I'm a wee bit distracted since the tv is playing some family drama shiate and in a few more minutes I gotta pick up my brother. Focusing is not my greatest strengths. OI VAY!

Writer's block happens regularly right???
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Saturday, February 11, 2012

Young and Wild and Free


I don't know why I'm listening to this but..it's real catchy!!

"So what we go ouuuuut? So what we smoke weeeeeed?"

p.s I no smoke weed. It's the song.
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Wednesday, February 8, 2012

11 Days of Camp

I am so glad I am back home. Kiss the ground and put my fist in the air.

Let's just say those 11 days were..hmmm..how can I put it? it was like..being burn alive. Literally. Shah Alam weather is unbearable.

First day was rough already so can you just imagine the rest of the days??  I went through the camp listening to loud yelling, punishments that can be unbearable when you're tired, the limited time you have to just take a break!! Barely had 5 minutes to just sit down and take a breather. We will all be sweating then! with all the sweating we'll pray first then run down towards the fields to get tan again.

Days go by, feels like it won't end. Every single day I trudge back into my room at 1a.m thinking that I might get a wink of sleep but all I end up doing is polishing boots and ironing my clothes..practically half awake most of the time. Wake up at 5a.m, wear those impossible clothes and run down with combat boots to more running, marching and gruelling exercises. Seriously..every one of us had our meltdowns..crying over half polished boots and missing socks. T.T pathetic.

There were people who chose to leave and I must admit I had the urge to leave as well but I was committed and I can't back down now so I stayed on with the rest. I'd be lying if I said I was not crushed when I saw people leave..but there was one person who kept on giving us support.

Kak Atie.


She's our current Kompeni F leader and first impression, thought she was some sort of emotionless psycho who loved to pick on anyone. BUT NO. In person, super shy and extremely polite! The uniform has powers I tell you. Anyways, we didn't have any masscomm seniors with us during the camp while others had theirs so it was depressing.

But by the 6th or 7th day..couldn't remember..there she was, smiling at us dressed in casual clothes saying she had something to meet up with her lecturer for a day or two. Didn't have time to chat but her presence really lifted us up. First thing she did was refilled all our big mineral bottles when we were rushing. After our activity, we came back and she helped us with polishing boots, sewing our clothes and ironing them when we fell asleep in our baju kurung. The thing is, it was against the rules for her to help yet she did. :') Woke up the next day, panicking because we didn't finish anything but alas. There were all done, right next to the sleeping kak Atie who helped us til the wee morning.

She had to go back on the same day but we were truly grateful. People like that is what kept us moving on. Same goes to our parents, friends and etc.

At the end of the day, we finally had the biggest victory, the title of KOMANDER RENDAH MUDA.

Sounds pretty sweet, looks awesome too. No parents to help put on the title though but still!! Victory is within the palm of my hands.

Wouldn't make it without the support of others so THANK YOU.
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Wednesday, January 25, 2012

26th Jan

I stubbed my lil toe against the bed post. 

OMAIGOD IT HURTS!!!!!!!! AAAAAAAAA!

can this be a reason not to go to camp? *angelic face*

Pffftt. Puhlease..Only be excused until we break our arms and legs..ohoh! Exaggeration at its best. But nah..I look forward to this gut wrenching camp. 23 hours left til I return back to UiTM SA in order to perform my duties as a so-called to-be commander. It's not in a foreign place, it's my university. So why do I feel like I'm leaving for someplace far? ...Because I have it in my mind that it is like joining an army. DUM DUM DUM~~

Kesatria, please be nice to me. Since basically you have taken away my connections from the outside world so you gotta give me a break. Mum, Dad, bro, await my return yawww..i love you guys. oh! and i won't change. I promise. Only during duty shall i be no smiley face Dae. ^^
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Thursday, January 19, 2012

My Warden's B'day

Today is Nur Saidah's birthday.

If you're wondering who this person is but you're probably not because you have no links with her whatsoever but imma tell you anyways..her pet name is Shidah and she's my roomate.

*BANG BANG KAPOW* firework explosion.


Sorry I had to steal your photo. Orang nih private sangat!!! haih!

First time meeting her I was frightened because she seemed like the strict type who's anti-social and watch you when you're sleeping so that she can stab your heart!! kidding. exaggeration at its best. xD

I could proudly say that I am so blessed to have the opportunity to meet someone like Shidah. From the beginning, she has always been caring, responsible like the mother type, polite and all around humble girl. She keeps track of her own schedule but never set aside her friends' well being. Most of the nights our room would be filled with her friends,asking for study tips and such. Always there to lend a helping hand.

I too have asked countless advices from her. When I have no clue how to fill up forms or online registrations, she's always one step ahead of me and leading me throughout the process. In the morning, she would gently wake us up for Subuh prayers and always reminding us continuously. She's a real good cleaner as well! Her trusty blue broom at the end of her bed post, sweeping underneath each corners, regardless if it's her side or ours.

Although I have known her for a few months, I can tell that she's a great friend, student and daughter. I have not once seen her with tears in her eyes which tells that she's brave inside and out. I would always have a smile on my face whenever she sits on her bed, reciting words from the Quran calmly and all I can think of is that, "This gal is special".

Shidah, today is the you were born. Thank you for your existence. I pray that you would always find happiness wherever you go, you maintain being yourself and all the best in your future undertakings. Though you're not into lovey dovey stuff and you quiver from physical contact but hey! It's your birthday!

I lap you Shidah. *virtual hug*

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Friday, January 13, 2012

Band-Aid



Ma sick band-aid~ Kau hada? Tak hada kan? 

It's nothing to be proud of really cuz I can only eat like a wuss and I wince everytime I hit a door. or a person or myself. But still. Too cool.

Bukannya slalu dapat memori yang memedihkan..so yesss!! I like you band-aid. I like you a lot. 

Efah, Atin, Sara, Fara and I went to this bistro and there was this tiny lil curly haired girl ushering us to our table. 

"Berapa umur dik?"

"EMPAT!" *show fingers* 

Kids..they always yell answers. It is sooo cute.

Then she asked, "KAK! Napew tangan akak tu?"

*points at band-aid* "Akak nie kene patuk ular", Efah jawab.

"ULAR??"

"Haah..tapi tak sakit pon. Tengok." *Efah hits hand*

"OOOO..pukul lagi."

*Efah hits again*

"Try adik pukul..serious tak sakit."

She missed but she was still frightened.

I'm saying "AWWWW~" on the outside but inside "Mother effing shiate THAT HURTS!!" 

Efah ambik opportunity tu..Anywhos, memories created.
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Saturday, January 7, 2012

Translation like a baus

I have no idea what the title of this song is. All I know is that it's sad and I feel the same way too at times. T.T

For every step I send you away my tears flow,
For every step that you go away my tears flow again,
You're going to a place where I can't reach; even if I spread my arms,
But unable to stop you and I stand here crying.

What do I do? What do I do?
You are going away.
You're leaving me here.

I love you. I love you.
Even if I call it out,
You can't hear it because I'm yelling it in my heart.

All day I try to erase you but I remember you,
All day I say goodbye but I remember you,
You're going to a place where I can't reach; even if I spread my hands,
But unable to find you and I stand here crying.

Uwaaaaaaaaaaaa~~ ber tacing-filing lah pulok. Kbai.


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Sunday, January 1, 2012

It's a brand new living

It's year 2012 already. The year filled with high expectations. :) I'd say that we lived a great 2011. We took the chance to try new things, explore a little, definitely LIVE a little and manage to surprise even ourselves. A good accomplishment indeed.

2011, thank you for the memories. It's been wonderful but it's time to move on. 2012, don't be a bitch. That's all I'm asking for. AHAHAHA!

Like my OH, I too have come to find that I have no new year's resolution because I feel that everyday we gain a new resolution. So there's no point to start one because we're doing it! Live life and live well~ I guess I sorta have a new year's resolution now that I think about it. I hope to become a better daughter to my parents, a better student when it comes to education and a better friend to those closest to me.It seems like a hefty task but I believe that I'm capable of change. So why not? Any wrong doings, please forgive and for any RIGHT doings, I thank you for making me a better person.

This year the celebration feeling is a little quiet as being far apart from family can be hard. I've taken this as a lesson for me so that when it comes to any bigger celebrations like this, I won't take it too hard. Alas, I guess I'm still a wuss because I still have the need to shed tears. :') Mee, Dee and Abdel, Happy New Year. I wish for you eternal happiness and may it be a prosperous year for all of us. Pop the sparkling juice bottle for me as usual. LOL. That stuff is real sour. I miss you all and I'll be seeing you soon; in the year of 2012! Kisses from afar~!

Happy New Year everybody. Lots of <3
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