Saturday, December 31, 2011

China made


It darn right hurts. But it is darn right true as well. It's unavoidable really; being fake. Heck, I'm like that too at certain circumstances. Like when Mom is questioning whether I'm studying right about now. Hell yeah..I'm not. So yes, if I could be pulling a two-faced situation with my own mother, I'm pretty sure other people out there could be pulling the same trick too. On one another.

I wish I wasn't like that because I know how it feels being on the other side when people do not actually mean the nice things they say about me and it turns out that I am not really in their 'good' list. I would rather cry hearing the truth than smile at a lie. 

From the truth told, you actually made an effort to resolve conflicts and at the end, the chance of being worthy; to be a better person. If talk won't do it, force actions will. If force actions won't do it..well..you're on your own. << got that from Interpersonal Comm classes. :D

All I know is everybody is probably made out of China. Sad truth but that is how the world is made.

We were trained to be two-faced as the words that we really wanna say may not fit the other person. We analyze our conversation early on before being said. But does that mean that this action should be done everytime? Sooner or later I'd lose sight of what is true and what is just China made.
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asdfgh

Memang tiada kerja this study leave. Asyik2 nak main aja..and of course it's at the end of the year. Time to fall sick. HACHOOOO!!

I got ma sexy hoarse voice on. Woo hoo~

Alhamdulillah I managed to stay on my text book more than 10 minutes. No guarantees that it'll remain in my head so looking through the text book once again is a crucial point. I felt like I highlighted most of the points in my text book. ALL OF THE SENTENCES SEEM TO BE IMPORTANT. Very deceiving. Why can't they have made a textbook filled with only the important points~? Save trees..save time for the authors too..

All I know is that..it was a refreshing point to Skype with friends after brain mushing.


mmhhmm..kesian si Azry perlu layan karenah kita.
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Friday, December 30, 2011

Zipped

I never ever want you to know this but occasionally I have that feeling where I am not suppose to feel.

It happens a lot.

But I hide it every single time.

I want to say.....but that just means that confession will give me away.

AHHHHHH SHUCKS.
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Wednesday, December 28, 2011

Study Leave?

That's the thing about study leave.

You never actually study!!..It'll only come to you when a sudden EXAM truck runs over you. 

"I'll start in a minute."


End up Facebook/Blog/Youtube surfing.

"Imma get my text book and read it."


You go out and eat with your friends.

"Omaigoshh..I'm actually sitting at my desk, studying!!" *pat pat back*


5 mins after reading thesis/projects/portfolios/textbooks.

I have no idea why it is so easy to be manipulated by other needs. xD 

I guess other activities are just plain INTERESTING.

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Tuesday, December 27, 2011

Standing close

Unexplainable feelings start to come by whenever I'm alone. It happens when you have time all to yourself, you start to wonder about the things that have happened and the things that will come by you in the future. All I know is that I need someone to just stand by me right about now. I am not sad. Neither am I happy. The most essential thing for me is to be standing next to people that I need the most.

Nothing beats being a few inches away from the ones you love as you're contented enough to know that they're close by and you get all that warmth from just that one acknowledgement. Yearning does not make you a bad person. It just makes you normal. 

I can't help but thinking how far apart all of us are. I miss you guys so bad. I can't help but thinking are you eating around the same time I'm eating, sleeping around the time I'm onlining, laughing with friends while my heart is aching. Are you hurting while I'm smiling. That's the thing! xD I won't know when we're bergagillion miles apart. *pun intended*

Occasional messages that randomly informs me about you guys is good enough for me.
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Sunday, December 25, 2011

*muah*


It's been awhile since I've listenened to Shania Twain but this song lah that is still fresh in my memory.

Bagaikan sup ayam baru keluar microwave~ NEW METAPHORE!

Anywhos, lagu ni suwiittt sangat.

"Look how far we've come my baby~"
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Thursday, December 22, 2011

Stand Cold


awwww~~ shoo tiut! But of course lah you don't want to be hugging with a stranger. Siapa mahu saya cakap?? No brainer.
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Thursday, December 15, 2011

AYU ayu~


AYU ma kering friend~~ xD I just love calling you that.

It felt real nice getting to see you again. It's been awhile hasn't it?? And yet we're in the same university..how odd UiTM is. Tak bagi jenguk kawan. Alaaaaaaa...

You so semol dearie~ I feel like I can break you into pieces or the wind would just blow you away! Makan banyak sikit!! Regardless, you're still the same ol' gal that taught me loads of things in Asasi until now I guess. :) You took me under your wing before and I am eternally grateful. Every time I look at you, it is like we're back in Lekiu's room; just the three of us, you, atin and I sleeping on the floor together chatting til we sleep. The door barred with a chair to avoid strangers from coming in and taking..our blankets! I don't know why I used blankets. Sounds funnier.

Climbing out the window to hang our clothes and usually I'd use your bed to boost maself up the window. ^^ You helped crash my lock into pieces when I accidentally forgot the code. One of my frequent companions to eat dinner when we were roomates. Always helping me with my tudung-arrangements; I stared at the same facial expression whenever you put the tudung on. Mulut ternganga, mata ke atas; making sure it's neat. AHAHAHA!

It is nice to see you! I like the joy of running towards you from afar and you would reply back with an ecstatic wave. One hug and memories gush out. Awwww~

I miss you Ayu. We should hang some more kay? Insyaallah if the both of us get what we ask for..you with your SUKSIS. Me with my kesatria..we'll be staying in one college! Awesome!
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Wednesday, December 14, 2011

No Happy?

Somehow~ in someway~

I despise seeing you happy. I have no idea why I feel like that. I have always been glad to see other people happy and enjoying life as it is. But you're an exception because somewhere in my small beating heart, I wish you would stop being happy. Masyaallah~ why are you like this Dae Iman?? Mak tak  ajar! 

EEEEEE~ that is why I'm re-setting my brain once more. Be happy. Stay happy when other people are happy. I should not feel like that towards a person but as humans, we cannot help but feel this and that. So we just have to suck it up and decide what is good and what is wrong. Bukannya that person did anything wrong pun..carik pasal pulak saya. *slaps cheek*

Keep steady Dae. :)

Have a break. Have a rm2.00 Kit Kat!

I know one thing that always make my day ever since I got it..


Staring at my personal slideshow aveli dei~

Such cute drawings and words from equally cute friends who I would not trade for anything else in this world. :')
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Friday, December 2, 2011

Da Fak

O.O Mata bagai nak juling; hadap laptop..hadap buku..hadap muka lecturer..bagai nak rak!!

None stop. There's always work. At first it was soo laid back~ classes were not heavy, no heavy duty assignments~ just as we reach the last two months, KAPOW!!! ada ja kerja that needs to be settled. I have not had enough sleep for the past few days. At the end of each day I worry about some assignments that needed to be settled. You no see that I'm exhausted, prof??

But..it is my own fault. Some could actually be done on time if I have not procrastinate. I know that! It's just that I have no clue why I am so lazy~ I stall, I take it easy~ it's like nothing has kicked in so far. My daily activities are okay but when you no get enough sleep, it'll come back to haunt you. Today I have another test and shall be replacing my kawad at 4p.m~ yeayyyyyy..

Tomorrow!! Kawad! And I have to attend some stupid dinner that the seniors organized. ohhh~~ bila time2 utk bermesra, you guys rilek2 ja~ but when you need us to attend something that has to do with your grades, you beg..I paid cuz I felt sorry. Can I not go? =.=

The rest of the days would be to finish my whatever-ma-jiggy. sigh* Thank you UiTM for taking away my weekend. Saya redha~ Settle things now, can have leisure time later.

Very thankful for Efah and Atin for going through the pain with me and having OH's support from afar makes everything brighter. :D

Like Nike's slogan, "Just Do It". And I shall! I want my leisure time back beeches!
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Friday, November 25, 2011

Not right

When I think that life is not all that bad, people who goes around spreading sins brings me back to reality.

People who have tongues as sharp as a knife really saddens me. Who are you to say things like that in public about another human being?

May I add that it was your own fault to begin with? At times we should have limitations to how we react. Or how we behave. Others may not find it amusing so keep that in mind.

I'm sorry but I can't tolerate such behavior. I know I'm a ruckus myself so I'm working on it. But please...you try and do something to make yourself better as well.

Inappropriate way of showing your feelings. Inappropriate way of referring others by appearance.

Look into your heart and find other solutions to resolve your feelings. Not by discriminating one another. I hope you know that what you did was not ethical.

Be the kind of human being Allah has created us to be. Embrace others and speak not of horrid words.
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Wednesday, November 23, 2011

O.O

You know that feeling when your palms are all sweaty. You have a terrible stomachache due to the butterflies in your stomach. Your mind running like a thousand horses. Your heart feels hard and heavy; slowly shrinking within time. When you're not at ease.

I feel like that right about now and what worries me is that I have no clue why.

It is said that we could feel how other people feel or we can look ahead of time before anything happens.

What is it?
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Sunday, November 13, 2011

Limits

I'm just thinking..when is it enough for you?

It's pretty saddening to see on my behalf so I choose not to take concern towards this matter.

Too many things going on does not necessarily mean you win.

Minimalism works far better.
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Friday, November 11, 2011

You Sneaky Mom!!

I watched this video clip so often I think I spoiled the replay button. Here's the situation. Their mom accepted this challenge from one tv show, daring parents to lie to their kids that all their Halloween candy have been eaten. There's like two lil tykes. One who's about 4 I guess and the other definitely older. And sassier I must admit. Very adult-ish!! In Malay, kuang hajaq sikit noee..Still very adorable and laughable.

My favourite lines = Lil bro="2+2 ..2+2= *hesitation* 5!" Big bro= *shakes head*"you were so close~"


OHOHOHOHO!! such cute kids!! brings tears of laughter to my eyes.
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Sunday, October 30, 2011

Budaks Se-teman

I have no idea what my title meant but it sounds right! To me.

Every morning I find strength in waking up because of Atin and Efah. Efah smses in the morning usually just to wake me up and question me whether I'm still asleep. I always follow Efah's orders..because she's scary. But real good for me. ^^ Atin comes into the room just in case Efah's message had no effect on me by yelling from the door. "DAEE!!! BANGUN! GI MANDI." How lucky am I to have these two chicklets???

Pretty damn lucky.


efah, atin and tata. *When you go to Sogo together, this is what happens..similar bags. xD*

Arigato for staying real patient with me when I keep you waiting, trying to get ready for class. It's real hard to tell who your real friends are lately but I know that you guys are not like that at all.
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Tuesday, October 25, 2011

If I were to die.

We recently had our LDK and all activities were interesting and fun. There was something at the end of the activity that we had to do and that was to create a will if by any chance tomorrow would be our last day. I thought about it hard and the people that came to my mind first were my parents.

Mum and Dad, if I were to die (touch wood), I would like to say how grateful I am to be blessed with wonderful parents such as yourself. Please forgive me for all the hurt that I have inflicted on you within the years. You should know very well that I have no intentions of hurting anyone let alone you guys. Thank you for being my sole providers in the years I have lived. For putting food on my plate, for providing shelter to keep me warm, for handing me education, for being the ones who kept me safe from harm.In the past, I was a mere child; always asking for more than I bargain for. It has come to my understanding that both of you have done so much for me. You sacrificed your precious time to sit down with me when I have problems with homework, drink chocolate drinks with me while we gossip, kissing my forehead every time before I go to bed. You have always been there for me when I needed you and when I did mistakes you forgive me all the same; still holding out your arms so that I can fall into them. I sometimes let my tongue slip without knowing and I know you can get hurt by that but always..always you would set aside your anger because you love me. Always had my best interest at heart. The more distance I have between you guys, the more heartache I feel. The mere thought of the both of you can bring me to tears because I feel that I am way over here and I won't be able to feel your touch. You brought me up to live life and I have done that because my parents were a part of it. Stay with me forever kay? I love you to the deepest core of my heart. If I had everything, I would hand it over to the both of you. In a heartbeat. You know why? Because the two of you have always been MY everything.

Please know that your daughter misses you. :'(
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Sunday, October 23, 2011

Work Undone

Eheheehehe!! I procrastinated again. WHY you say?

I have no idea why!! Idiotic thing to do actually. Superb that I can't get things done on time. Not all the time though. Just subjects that I have no skillz in. I am talking bout...TITAS.

You know you're stalling work when you get back from activities, still dressed in your baju kurung; looking at the screen with your face all blank. Oh. And messed up hair.


It wouldn't be me if I did not capture this documented state of look, aite??

I should probably..go back to my work now. Hokay!! Babai you gais. Hope I'll do okay. Or at least survive for the upcoming Doomsday.

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Wednesday, October 19, 2011

In Pain

My abdomen hurts. My BUTT hurts. My thighs burn.

It is the beginning of..Dance Club. Omjaayyyyy!!

yessiree..I freaking joined the Dance Club. Not because I wanna be like 'HEY~~ I know how to dance..blablabla..' I have this thing called Stiffness. Which means..I am like a plank of wood when it comes to dancing. I wanted to be a little more softer when it comes to moving. At least it'll be closer to my goal of being a gentle woman. Ho yeahhhhh..

So yes. Back cracking,stomach churning, sweat galloning begins!!!

Ma, aren't you proud of me? xD


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Sunday, October 16, 2011

Mak Cik Tido Awal

It is not all the time that I get to see yo face, pompwan!!!!

So I'm thankful for Skype. Hooray for Skype!

I may run out of things to say at times because I have no idea what to share with you since I get infos via sms everyday. But! I still strive to struck a conversation because you know I dislike awkward silence. It'll be like 'PAUSE. "AAAAAAA...what else ah?" ' moment. YEESH! It's like I don't know enough pulak kan??

The important thing about Skype pon is to look at faces saja. Talking is just a plus to it. I like the fact that life is good over there. Love listening to Kak Long and Clo's cuteness. Ehehehe! Feel like poking that person you hate in the eyes. Or get her longer length clothes at least. Saves people their eyesight. For the good of man kind!!

I never get tired of looking at that face. Awww~ I just have to grit my teeth with Skype's mangy connection and deal with it. Worse comes to worse, buat YM ja lah!! It's rare for me to Skype with you because degree life is real hectic. It means a whole lot though. :')

Buat lah muka2 pelik slalu ya di Skype!!! I can't put your pictures that I take in Skype if not you'll slit my throat so apa yang ada saya letak, okaayyyys?


Alaaa..chumil lettew. Kbai.

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Friday, October 14, 2011

Kaunselor cakap..

I just heard a mind blowing talk coming from Puan Hajah Aluyah.

Her topic today was..actually..i couldn't remember but it was pretty awesome!!! I know the title has relations with Love.

As different genders, men and women's desires are two different things. One man would have 4 women in their hearts while one woman has one man in mind. Apparently we were all build that way so us girls cannot really blame boys for having too many girls in mind.

Next next..when it comes to love, it is not always roses and chocolates!! Mesti ada yang patah hati nanti. Those who find it difficult to let go have two things to do. Either fight for it. Or walk away. FIGHT- If you believe that the person who you devoted your love to is meant for you, you find the courage to fess up. Know it in your heart that he/she is the one for you. WALK AWAY- If you see that the person you love is doing perfectly fine and is in contact with other people, it is just not your fate so you REDHA and walk away. Try and see whether he/she is feeling the same way as you do. That's a clear sign itself.

Reasons why you cannot get over the person who has not return your love- You have kept that book open. Book refers to people that you like. For girls, it is natural for them to open book after book after book til they find the right one. But then those open books will result is unresolved feelings that shall be implemented in your life. Puan Hajah said if you ever feel like you can't let go, you have to force yourself to close that book and focus on other books which are more important. Get rid of anything related to that..book. Metaphors confuse me. =.= *Around this time, everyone were real quiet* For boys, they open one book at one time and could easily close it up if it's not meant to be. Demm.

Memang susah tapi itu lumrah hidup bukan? So cry she said. Both boys and girls are entitled to shed tears. Boys may say it's not manly to cry. But the truth is, those who are able to cry are ones who are strong.

Learn to love yourself first before loving others is what's most important.

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Wednesday, October 12, 2011

The Way You Are


I've heard this song like a gazillion times already. And every time I playback, mesti teringat si OH. Minus 'the boy' part. Huh.

"We'll always make it through. As long as you've got me and I've got you."

<3
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Sunday, October 9, 2011

IMOSI

This is the time when I want to 'ber-emosi'.

I feel feelings that is not meant to be felt. Many times I say to myself "No..don't feel like that.You're not spose to!!"

*Slaps self*

That's so human of me. I feel things, I know a lot about these THINGS but I..


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Wednesday, October 5, 2011

Friends' Promises


Promises. I mean every word when I say that we can last. Friendship that means something would definitely last regardless of the complications.

It is not to be taken for granted these promises. Promise means one thing which is to be kept according to the person's saying. Once broken, aaaa..itulah. broken ja. xD

Take my word for it. XOXO

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Tuesday, October 4, 2011

Check lu

College life is a hell of a whirlwind. 

Every morning rushing out the door and you'd stop..

..to check how you look like in someone's window shield. xD

I do that often. And one time, it actually bit me in the arse. Every morning I would either take the bus or just walk to class..being ma cool self *pfftt*, i'd be dressed and ready to go! The thing is, I always forget to check myself in the mirror.

As I walk out, being ma cool self again..I would pass gazillion of cars in the parking lot. "Why not check myself in the window shields?" So approached the nearest car to me and check myself. Hair,teeth,collar shirt straightened out, GOOD!

The whole time I was checking myself, the driver was present. RIGHT THERE! LOOKING AT ME LOOKING AT MA SELF,WHILE LAUGHING. Died in embarrassment. 

Never ever check ma self in a tinted mirror next time. You never know who's behind it. =.= 

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3secs

It only takes three seconds to know that you're smitten.

Suddenly the world does not make sense to you. When people talk, all you could hear is white noise as you imagine the person you like smiling at you. Everywhere you go, you are haunted by his/her scent and when you do get a whiff, you fall back into clouds, floating in the sky while this shot of warmth running through you like hot chocolate.

Your heart actually skips a beat to the sound of his/her voice or the opposite which is your heart is on a jogathon. Your hand tingles when you accidentally brush against his/her hand. Your knees weaken just by the sight of him/her.

The way the world suddenly explodes in vibrant colors and there you stand, in the rainbow; skipping towards your pot of gold. 

In any case, it takes three seconds to know that you're smitten, a life time to have that person embedded in your mind.
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Sunday, October 2, 2011

!@#$

I HATE YOU!!

YOU'RE NOT MAKING MY LIFE EASIER. YOU'RE GIVING ME HELL, ALWAYS NOT GETTING MY MESSAGES, ALWAYS NOT LISTENING TO ME. I HATE YOU, I HATE YOU, I HATE YOU.

SAJA JA KAN YOU WANT ME TO BE ANGRY. ARE YOU A FRIEND OR NOT, YOU LOW LIFE!!!

Don't make me take you away.

Stupid phone. Seriously getting on my nerves. Sabo jer lah..
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Friday, September 30, 2011

Mommy Genius

Hmmm..apparently Mom got embarassed by the Facebook wish so I deleted it.

But she never said I couldn't write it in my blog. MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!

Congratulations Mom! I've always thought you were some sort of genius out to rule the world, with your genius-ness. Pretty awesome CGPA! I'm not gonna mention it here3.86. but Yeah!! Insane!!

Gossshhh..I wish I was more like you but I am different from you. ^^ Imma try my own style of gaining success, even if it'll take a long time. Nobody says that success is a one-way-step. You gotta climb all 92 steps of stairs to get there! See how I use a staircase metaphor? *High 5 self* Some are just blessed with brains. I love to study those sort of people. They are like my motivational speakers; in my mind that is.

Anywhos, Mom. Thanks for sharing this with me. I wanna be there for your other achievements to come. Take good care of yourself! You will never read this though cuz you don't know my link.

PWNED.


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Thursday, September 29, 2011

Spring Cleaning

=.= 

I am so tired. I've done things today that makes me wanna collapse on the road and sleep. ZZZZZZZ..

You can say that I went a bit overboard in being too adventurous for a lazy bum such as myself. Must've seen myself like a wonderwoman; accomplishing the impossible. Idiot Dae Iman, Idiot. Oh wells, at least I got a lot of things done. I can't be a sit-on-your-arse-all-day kind of girl. I have to be productive. ...What am I saying??

Started off the day by running by myself towards faculty. I was not LATE. I was just..on time at the wrong time. Mhhmm..kidding. I was early. Had a wonderful spectacular mind blowing, mouth gaping, feet jumping class with my Psycho lecturer, Puan Amelia. She's a whacko but a real cute one. xD 

I couldn't really remember what I did afterwards but I spent that time ALONE in my room. I treasure my messy place. It reflects me somehow. Ohohoho~ But felt guilty afterwards since my roomates are neat freaks. I promised to clean up tonight. And I did. WOO HOO!

Took me quite sometime because Imma pig. Like fo rizzles. With the help of my trusty Roomather, Shidah; she guided my cleaning skills and Walaa! Instant-slightly-better-Dae's-corner. Yeah.

I took up jogging again! Starting today and boy...I am soooo out of shape. Was winded within 15 minutes. That has to be a record. Felt so old and worn out but nonetheless, Imma try again tomorrow. See whether I could beat the first 15 minutes. I should probably stick to running around my college first because fainting spells may happen. :/ Such a wuss.
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Wednesday, September 28, 2011

Photo Comm

Waking up today was bliss. Slept in until 9.30a.m. Would've slept longer but roomate open the blinds so SHINNGGG! Sunlight in my eyes. Yeayyy~

Shidah: Nak makan?
Me: *mumble*
Shidah: Cepat bangun! Pegi basuh muka dulu. Mandi..Nanti makan roti yer..
Me: *mumble* (Got up and wash my face)

Yesssss..I listen to my roomate. Imma good roomate. xD 

Got dressed and did my bed. I have no idea why but I am extremely neat now because of these people. Even if I clean up now, I'm still the messiest. Oh My Gosh....they are neat freaks. Thankful though because they made me change my ways without even realizing.

Walking to class is always a 'joy' too. My Batu Cave stairs. Killer really. If I miss one step, I could literally die. Ok..maybe not die but I'll definitely break something. I had a very interesting class today! It's called Photo Communication. This is not a photography class but more to understanding pictures in a photographer's way. I think. Our lecturer lend us each a camera and gave us 30 mins to hunt for a picture that symbolizes FRIENDSHIP. I took lots of ridunkculous pictures. From people to orange cones. You read right. ORANGE CONES.

But heck. It was fun. Wonder how it feels like to own a DSLR camera. WAAHHH..


Saya tiada duit. Kbai.
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Monday, September 26, 2011

Point

Next time you point a finger, I'll point you to the mirror. 


That is how it works. You find fault in others, yet you're oblivious to your own. awesome lah tu.
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Written Someday in the future

If I were to have someone special in my life, I would want him to do nothing else but wait. Just wait. That is all it takes apparently.

I am in no rush, DEFINITELY. Especially when it comes to being in a relationship. But I know I'll find someone who accepts me for who I am, let it be a little insane and clumsy. Someone who has not given up on me, even after a long period time. Now that is someone worth fighting for. Sounds strange and slightly ridiculous but yes! If that someone took the time to wait and stayed loyal throughout the process, I'd say that that person could be the one.

Time is of the essence and truth be told, my clock is still ticking really slow. So I shall take my time and see where it takes me.

But I shall await for that gentleman, just as long as he has waited for me.


It only works when two sides are yearning for the same thing. :)
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Sunday, September 25, 2011

Every little thing




Everyday we move on. We meet new people and get to experience new adventures. I'm happy! Don't get me wrong. But..somehow..everything that I do, no matter who am I with..I miss you.

Have you ever miss someone that somehow everybody end up resembling the person? From the way they dress,the way they talk, down to the way they walk. I have actually! I thought I was delusional.

It's pretty normal to miss someone. Heck, that makes me normal because every human being yearns for the people they care for. It'll be rare to yearn for someone you despise. xD That's just it though. The mind likes to play tricks on us, putting in images that we want to see but certainly can't gain. Like for instance, little trinkets sold on the sidewalk and in an instant you'd be thinking of how your friend/family/alien would love to own this or once own it. A song that pictures moments you'll probably never forget. Even smells from perfumes/deoderants/detergents brings you back. 

Thinking that you won't be missing someone if you focused on other things..well. You're just fooling yourself. :)
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I-City


ek eh! Who's those people posing there?

Entah. Can't see. =,=

Anywhos, the lights were spose to be the star of the show so TADAAAA! THIS IS I-CITY. Located in Shah Alam and apparently 10 minutes of walking distance from UiTM. Untunglahhh~

I had the 'brightest' opportunity to witness i-City with friends and I must admit that now I know why bugs like to fly towards the light. Cuz lights are pwetty~~ especially the colored ones. It may seem odd for a 19 year old to be excited about lights BUT these lights are spectacular. Trees that shine at night. Impressive handiwork but real bad for the people in-charge of the electrical bill. Ohohoho~

I wanna bring my OH there someday..Really is worth it! Gaping at lights,touching the lighted trees (but with caution though. Electrocution may occur.)

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Saturday, September 24, 2011

What do you know?

If you know how I truly feel, then you would know why I do what I do. It's not that I do things unintentionally. I have no intentions of hurting anyone but..I want to try and make myself happy for once. I want to be able to do things on my own. Sometimes, I have to be a bitch. You think I like doing stuffs like this? Absolutely not. It hurts but I am not here to please everybody. I would love to please the whole world if I could but I would only do that if it benefits me.

I'm through being the one who gets stepped on. If it means being criticized in public to make myself happy, then why not? If it means I'd be frown upon by people near me,then why not? I have got nothing to lose.

If I ever hurt anyone by accident, I apologize profusely.


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Thursday, September 22, 2011

I.Am.Grateful.

Listening to stories that focuses on other people's misfortunes makes me feel ashamed of myself.

I, who have been blessed with many things still sigh over what I could not have. When others who are missing part of their limbs, diagnosed with diseases that are deadly; praise the Lord for having the chance to survive another day. 

No matter how hard I try, I still do. Human nature I suppose. But I promised myself to make the best of what I have. Keep a smile on my face as it might just brighten up other people's day. Remember parents' wishes as their prayers are the core source of my success. Embrace friends for who they are as they are made awesome. Be courageous and conquer fears. Try not to be judgemental because bad mouthing others is a sin. Spam my mind with positive thinking! 

If I start to sigh or whine over mere problems, I should stop and think. Don't say "Why me?". Others may just be hurting more than you. Make peace. Just dance and sing, embracing this beautiful gift we call Life.

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Wednesday, September 21, 2011

Kuch Kuch Hota Hai

:'"( UWAAAAAAA~~~ so tear-jerking.

For the god-knows-how-many-times-I-watch-this-movie, I still cry. I cried when Anjali left Rahul. I cried when Rahul still yearns for Anjali even after years apart. I cried when Aman's love was not returned by Anjali because of her love to Rahul. I cried a lot, just to summon it.

I could not imagine being Anjali. The fact that she kept her feelings to herself,just for the sake of Rahul's happiness. Stood by her fiance even when she loves someone else. UHUKSS...so sad!

At least it ended well if not I'll probably won't have any teardrops left!!

Luckily I watched it with my roomates so tears did not fall that easily. Mesti macho sikit!! Who am I kidding? Everybody cried. =,=
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Tuesday, September 20, 2011

Needing family

I have a tendency to be very lampi (lambat pick up) lately especially when it comes to feelings. 

After 2 weeks of being away then I come to the realization that I am missing my family. :')

It was not out of the blue sort of feeling. It has just been piling up within the time I spent in Shah Alam. Mum and  Dad calls me regularly as to no surprise. They did that back in Asasi days too. Those days they contacted me almost everyday, 4 times a day! But..I am thankful that they took the time to ask about my day when I do not even bother to call them to ask about theirs. I'll try my best to contact you guys often.

Same goes for my brother. He is a pain in the arse at times and always like to get on my nerves. Apparently he finds pleasure in me blowing a fuse. Jerk. He is not all bad though. He treats me well as we both start to age and I do not wrestle him now like I did back then. ^^ I went Facebook browsing just a moment ago and I saw his profile picture. It was me and him; acting like the fools that we really are. I miss my brother.

I'm missing all of them. Even Inik. My prayers are always with them and I hope they're doing well in Sarawak. I probably won't be going back often because Shah Alam is easier for the family to visit me but still..nothing beats home. If I had a whole load of cash, I would go back during holidays. But biasalah budak Borneo~ we love the campus too 'much' that we have to live in it constantly, even on holidays.

In life, we have to make sacrifices and that means we have to decide what's best for us, our future, even if it might take a piece of us away.
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Monday, September 19, 2011

What is sleep?

Facing the laptop. Fingers placed on top of keyboard yet no words are being typed out. 

Terbaiklahhh..handling assignments is what i do 'best'. Nothing beats the horror of passing up an assignment even I myself am not sure of. I do not even know who's my lecturer! But I heard she was given the nickname, Datin Berry. Omjjaaaaayyyy..lady sounds strict and stuck up.

Terbaikkklahh that I've already misplaced my APA format paper which I desperately need right about now. Degree is certainly a mind boggling experience. And I thought Asasi year was bad enough.

1. I've fallen over in a bus because bus driver was in a rush perhaps. Could've just wait til I hang on to a pole,pakcik!!
2. I wrongly tegur someone by pushing them, thinking that they were my friends. But alas, they weren't.
3. Did not recognize the man that interviewed me who is actually my coordinator. =,=
4. Rode the wrong bus to go to class. Instead took a ride heading towards seksyen God-knows-where.

Pleasant surprises along the way. I look forward to laughing my ass off if anyone of us made an embarassment out of themselves. I, for one sudah malu nak show muka in public.
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Wednesday, September 14, 2011

Hectic Week

It's been a week and I finally get to online. AT LAST!!!

But I don't really know what to type really except that..

Campus is HUGE. Feel like dying.

Panicking over the fact that I have to pass up a 5 page essay on God-knows-what by Monday.

Ecstatic to be so close to beloved friends and family.

Loving the roomates that I'm with. A bunch of quiet nut jobs.

Extremely grateful to be given the opportunity to continue my studies.

AND...missing my beloved OH who I know is doing really great.
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Monday, September 5, 2011

Kepada Yang Berkenaan

Thank you for the delightful presents OH!

I'll promise that I will always always always keep it with me. These are my new treasures now. ^^

I couldn't help but take some photos.

 :') My treasures.


And this..is for you!





video
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Tear Drops

I told my mum not to cry when I leave again.

"You're my only daughter. Of course I'll cry again!"

:') 

Dad told me the time when I went to Asasi she cried herself to sleep for three days. I just found out about that recently.

She didn't know that I cried on the first night there after she called.

Mum, you might think I'm tougher but no..I cried as well. Saja nak control macho. Ahahaha! I think this 2nd trip won't be as bad as the 1st one. No more tears kay Mummy?
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Sunday, September 4, 2011

Baggage

Setelah sekian lamanya baru dapat online~~ WAAAAAAA..

It's a day after UTM's registration date and I'm stoked that my OH is having a ball. She's been mms-ing pictures from her orientation week and I must say, UTM is pretty cool! Mixture of unique people and interesting programmes. It's gotta be super exciting, meeting up with old and new friends. Brings back memories from the Asasi days. I can't wait to attend mine. UiTM might be slightly different but hey! I look forward to the changes~ yessiree..

I've been packing since 12 noon. When you're from Sarawak, nothing weigh less than 20 kg. My combined bags would be about 30 kg! SUPERB! I just loooooveeee dragging loads of bags in the airport and campus. *sarcasm* One whole luggage is for baju kurung alone. Woaahhh..Another thing. I despise university forms. SO GOD DAMN CONFUSING! they want this to be certified, NOW that one..NO NO..THIS form has to be certified first. A load of bull. Although degree forms are easier to fill than Asasi forms, it doesn't make any difference..

I hope to have a smooth journey and hopefully have a great first week in uni. If it's not good, I'll make the best of it. ^^

OH, I love receiving pictures from you. It makes me feel that I'm included in it as well. Wait for my own set of pictures!! I wish you well and hope to hear more from you. It's the first week so I won't bother you as much. WAHAHAHA! anywho, you'll forever stay in ma heart and I love you loads. Everyday I've been missing you.  <3
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Monday, August 29, 2011

Balik Kampung~

It's 12.18 a.m already and here I am, laying down on my bed with my bag packed near my feet.

I am looking forward to go back to kampung! Hurrah! Dad might actually let me drive for once!

I love that I'm going back but HATE that I have to prepare so many things before leaving. The house needs to be maintained. Grandma's medical situation under control. Find a proper place for our cats to crash in. The extra cars needed to remove batteries~ *Just in case somebody steals them. BETTER NOT BEECH!* Shine every single glass-thinga-ma-bob..you know, the ones where we put all the snacks in. Fill the refridgerator with canned drinks. AND. pack bags.

It is never fun to do all of these things but hey! At least there will be less work once you get back from kampung.

I love the trip itself though. My bro and I loved to camp out in the car. We would bring pillows, stuffed toys, BLANKETS into the car and we'd snuggle up at the back. It's like a camping trip! IN YOUR OWN CAR. Too cool. This year will still be the same but Mum and Bro would be at the back. Imma be co-driver with my Dad. We'd switch from time to time.

Anyways, I would take pictures of our car 'bed' tomorrow so  that you'll get what I mean. :)

Selamat Hari Raya everyone. Drive safely on the road. Your loved ones are awaiting for your arrival.
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Sunday, August 28, 2011

Countdown

A week to go til Degree starts and truth be told, I'm scared.

I'm frightened at the fact that I have to leave home again. To jump into this new world which I am certainly not prepared for. I've stalled everything that I need to do. Haven't paid the bill. Certificates that needed to be approved were set aside. I don't even bother with the upcoming schedule. It's not that I'm not up for it. I'm excited! But..there's just so many things that I know I have to leave behind. I'm not ready to let go.

I have to, right? I know I have to and I will. I'm just going to hang on til the last second.

Just lil itty bitty things that I'll be missing. Like dad's strange sleeping habits.


Brother's over exaggerated personality.


Mom's constant nagging *No picture for that*

But yeah..Imma just enjoy the time I have left.
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Thursday, August 25, 2011

Slang so funny!

AHAHAHAHA!!
 
Mummy sounds funny talking in Semenanjung slang!
 
Kihkihkih..too funny!!
 
Like mother,like daughter. I can't talk in semenanjung slang too~ =,=



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Converse Frenzy

I just had to go searching for Converse shoes. I cannot believe what a big collection Converse is. Can you imagine there are so many other cuttings and collections I do not know about?? Except for the basic ones lah. But FUHHHH..certainly made my eyes pop out of their sockets. Shoe-gasm as we might say it.

The ones that I found were all from the 2010 collection.


This first one is an All Star blabla..I think the material is rubbery, instead of the regular 'kain' ones. O.O



These are from the Chuck Taylor's Cup Fall/Winter collection. Yeap. Real bright!




These 3 selections are the Japan collection. I guess that's why we don't see them over here in Malaysia. It must be hard to get through customs. All of them I mean. But WOW. When you think they're out of ideas, suddenly WHAM! slaps us right in the face with these gorgeous creations.

I could have browsed for more but that'll just put me in a slump because I know I can't own all of them!!!

Pretty cool.

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Wednesday, August 24, 2011

Asking real politely

I know it's Ramadhan time. We have to be super patient and not blow our heads off so very often but I need to do this once.

I'm asking you now, in a very polite manner..to keep it quiet.

I couldn't care less about what you are doing right now NOR do I care for your insanely over blown emotions. It is ridiculous and you look less like a smart person. *stupid* We have to learn to keep everything mediocre here..

I am so sorry if I offended you. But I meant it in that way. You're suppose to feel offended.

But of course I can never have the heart to actually offend anyone. Those are the words that I would say if I have no soul. Huh. Would be interesting though to actually say them.
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Tuesday, August 23, 2011

Share?

Tell me your hopes and dreams. What color you like. What makes you happy. What are you allergic to.  Which ice-cream you prefer. Who broke your heart before. When was your first achievement. When was the day you felt that the whole world collapse right in front of you. 

What you think of me.

I would like to know things that I can relate to. I love blue. I believe that the stars in the sky consists of wishes people make. I prefer having ice-cream cones than the ones on stick. I sing in the showers. I enjoy company, always. I hardly get scars because I am afraid of blood and being hurt. I am a teacher's pet. I have fear of heights.

I don't mind letting my guard down. I want to be able to tell you things about me just like I want to know more about you. 

It's called a DEEPER CONVERSATION. :) 
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Monday, August 22, 2011

Perfect

The definition of Perfect.

Entirely without any flaws, defects, or shortcomings. To describe a perfect  human being is like saying he/she has looks, brains, riches, loved by all and all around goodie-too-shoes.

When I was young, heck. I still do it! All those things I saw were reflected in the people who I assumed were perfect. I envied them, wishing I was more like them. From a distance I watched perfect people..practically thinking that "Wow..they are so perfect that they're glowing!" But you can never say that someone's perfect. Because nobody is.

Allah has made us to be DIFFERENT, not perfect little angels sent to Earth. If we were all perfect, we would all look alike, think alike and dress alike. That wouldn't make us unique at all. It is expected for us to make mistakes. We tumble over, hurt people's feelings, crash into someone else's car and fail in examinations. Many more mistakes! *Don't think I can mention it all in here. It'll be the longest list.*

I have learned a lot by this. I can't just assume that someone is perfect. Not only it is undermining myself but I'm also putting pressure on that individual. Imagine that you are expected to do everything right. That'll be horrible! 

I appreciate people for who they are, not for what I want them to be. 

So I appreciate myself for being the nut job that I am.


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Sunday, August 21, 2011

20th Anniversary

Parents' Anniversary! Dated 17th August 1991.


This was taken during one of their dates where my mum taught my dad how to drive a car. That's right. Their dates were driving lessons.

Now. Here they are. A lil older but still the same happy people I know.


Of all the years they have been together, I have never once see them upset at each other. The occasional complaints from mum about dad's forgetfulness was normal. The groans dad give whenever he is asked to do errands for mum. But they compromised and made it work. Mum made a strategic placing for dad to keep his stuff and dad makes sure he keeps a smile on his face when he does the errands.

To me, they're the complete opposites of one another. Mum is more to the wild side. She's free spirited and has the mind of a teenager at times. Dad is more laid back and hardly ever loses his temper. The wise one as you might say. My parents are the greatest example for the term 'opposites attract'.

I have learned a lot from my parents. They have brought me up to live life yet at the same time appreciate things around me. They sacrificed a lot for my brother and I which I am eternally grateful for. When I look at them, I see true love. I hope that someday I'll be blessed with the same commitment.

Mum and Dad, Hoping that the love that you shared years ago is still as strong today as it was then, bringing you much joy, love and happiness to celebrate again. Happy Anniversary.


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Friday, August 19, 2011

EHEM..buat Aunty Wan Som

Macam random saja. But what the heck!

To Aunty Wan Som,

It is apparently your birthday today! HURRAH! Happy 21st Birthday!! Setahun, hanya sekali..merayakan hari yang mulia ini~ << Adapted from Lagu Raya. 

I didn't really get the chance to get to know you better but my 3 days in Johor Bahru were enough. Thank you for bringing me into your home and make me feel welcome. I wish I thanked you more in the past but I'll just turn into a stone and no words will come out. =,=

AAAAAAA...anyway! I had a whole speech planned out but now I have no idea what to write. Since I lost my words, I shall go to plan B. GOOGLE.

There are Aunts that are boring
That are Aunts that are dull
There are Aunts that don’t care
About much of anything at all
But that’s not you Aunty
You’re exciting caring and great fun too
A Great Big Happy Birthday.

The beauty of Google!  You're great. Funny too! I think I cracked my funny bone too often over there. So yeah. I see your kids have follow suit. Bwahahaha! I am truly blessed to have met you and the family. Hope to see you soon. Have a prosperous life and May Allah Bless you.

p.s I don't mind if you don't read this. I just felt like doing it. :D
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Thursday, August 18, 2011

I HATE...

NOISY EATERS.

I swear..sometimes..I feel like stuffing noisy eaters' mouths til they choke. It may sound cruel but I can't help it~

In my own family, I have my set of noisy eaters. Dad. Cousin. Always, I want to pull my hair out just listening to the munching and noisy slurping and..AND heavy breathing. PLEASE LAH..keep it shut.

I'm astonished that baru know I feel so pissed off. Before this, I was not that bothered by the chomping sounds and whatnot. Maybe it's Puasa time. I guess that explains it all.

And I'm always more agitated in during Sahur. I'm sleepy and I have to wake up at 4 a.m. Who wouldn't be grumpy?? I have discovered ways of holding in my anger though.

1. Face a wall when I eat. I don't know how this helps but it distracts me.
2. Clench my fist really tight...like I'm trying to squeeze out water from the air.
3. Close my eyes and talk to myself.

That is why I fix myself to not eat noisily in front of anyone because they might be as annoyed as I am. No more slurping tea. No open mouth eating. No noise means peace. I like it that way.

Somehow I think this agitation of mine has made me more lady-like when I eat. CHE WAH.
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Monday, August 15, 2011

I like Hugs

Hugs. The one word that I can relate to. Pasal apa?? Because it is probably the most easiest and sweetest gesture that could be done among family and friends.

I've always used hugs as a sign that I love the people around me. The 'ones' that I can hug that is. I don't know. Not many people can relate to hugs. Some are afraid of touch. Some are just hug-a-phobic. I've met those hug-a-phobic people. It brings me utmost pleasure to sneak attack one on them. They'll yell like lil babies. AHAHAHAHA! But once I've hugged, you'll be sure that I'll do it again. No worries though. Those friends have gotten use to my hugs. But they stay very still. It's funny to look at.

Why hugs? Why not do cheesy handshakes where you grab each other's hand and pull them close? Well..that's like a hug too!! Hugs are warm..When you hug someone, there is no gap between you and the hug receiver. Just that close embrace saying "I appreciate you." I'd like to think of it as two people being a WHOLE. Gawwwsshhh..I wish I could give free hugs like how the Americans do it. But naaahhh..it'll be all wrong. People in Malaysia will just give you odd stares and hit you with pepper spray! << Safety precautions apparently.


To those in particular, Imma hug you as soon as I see you. ^^
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Happy 50TH Birthday Uncle Dibid


Yeahh..that's him at the back. Already half a century old. Anyway, turns out 50 is the young of the old. << that does not makes sense.

We've been taking self pictures all night long. pulling faces and whatnot. Certainly a night to remember. With the exception of Chong Wei's loss. *punches wall*

Dear Uncle Dibid,

You're 50 now. Half a century old. But still look like a 25 year old~ nahhh..late 30's lah. xD Anywho, I am absolutely grateful to have an uncle such as yourself. You'r funny, tech crazy, loud (just like mom) but at times pretty stern. But that makes you YOU. Mom is behind you by 3 years so we shall be celebrating her half a century birthday soon too! 

May you live a long prosperous life. Filled with love, joy and riches.(?) 50 is just a number. It gets better and better every year. HUAHAHAHA!

May God Bless you Uncle. I love you. Thanks for making me a part of your growing old agenda.

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Friday, August 12, 2011

You may not see this. I'm frowning. You may not know this. I'm hurting.

I want to tell myself, "No. You shouldn't be like this."

But I can't. Somehow that seems idiotic. =,=

That's just it. I can't lie to myself. If only I could.


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Thursday, August 11, 2011

Gone YouTube Crazy

My eyes are all annoyed.  My head's pounding. My palms are all warm from the laptop heat. That just settles it. I've been watching YouTube videos the whole day. Say WHUT NOW??

Yes yes..the life of a NO LIFE girl. Pffffttt..I had loads of fun, mind you!! I got to know most of my friend's account on YouTube; which is Beyond Awesome. Caught up with the latest videos which I have subscribed to like NigaHiga, WongFu Productions, David Choi, Smosh, MAT LUTHFI (Malaysian weiii...) and etc.

It's not healthy though. Laying on my back all day, having headphones on. I tend to get lost in the video watching fishionado but hey..I won't be able to do this in the future yawww..When you're in Degree, you no have fast Wifi. Exciting stuff, university life. Sigh~~~

Anymeat, I got the urge to start making videos too! But..I don't really have ideas that I think is worthy enough to be shown on the Web yet. I gotta start pulling my brain juices out. Weeee~ sounds gross but trust me. Worth it.

All this Web browsing is giving me a headache. Ughhhhh.

Imma put a picture of baby Mason to ease my headache.


AWWWWW~ all better.

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Wednesday, August 10, 2011

Accent Challenge

I had fun!! :D 

Thank you Nur Syazana for introducing it to us and Saiful Hakim for pointing out the challenge.

It feels pretty cool listening to myself babble. Ohohohoho~

I enjoyed listening to Nana's and Saif's as well! Their answers are just too adorable~~ AWWWW.

OK. That's it. Slamat Berbuka Puasa people!
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Tuesday, August 9, 2011

Biasiswa Gone Wrong

Hokay..tried my hand at filling up the forms on my own. I'm a grown adult.


Super girl!

Anywho, the personal details were alright because it's about myself. Shouldn't be hard.

THEN, parent's info. Bleghhhh..I especially hate this part because I have to refer to my parents and usually they're in a daze. In another dimension..When it comes to I.C and office numbers, it's okay. Easy part. The income part is difficult as it involves numbers and they don't exactly know how much they earn. So I let them predict the closest number. I can always fix it again."Kemas kini" as we shall say it.

CLICKED DONE. *Pat myself on the back*

Next thing you know, I wanted to fix it. Went back to that page. Clicked on the scholarship link.

Nothing happened. Clicked it again. And again, NOTHING.

"Sedang diproses."

It is EFFING PERMANENT!!!! I JUST LIED IN MY APPLICATION. Swell~ Nicely done Dae Iman.

Oh well...at least I tried.
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